Sleep Tight
by ZevofB3K
Summary: The Lexx crew opens a Pandora's box of sorts. Follow up to Worthless? FINISHED
1. Sleep Tight

Author Notes: This is a follow-up to Worthless? But for once, I think Stan needs to figure something out for himself to save everyone else. He doesn't do that often.

Things had been quite ineventful since their ordeal on 7XZ. Kai was fully healed, and if he wasn't in his room "angsting" as Stan would call it, he had taken to practicing his assassin capabilities in the cryochamber. He didn't want another episode like the one with the Infected, and he knew he had to adapt to fight better to avoid injury or death. When he'd been dead, he hadn't had to think about anything, all he had to do was freeze himself until someone needed him.

Now his mind was blocked with dark thoughts. Every night the voices of those he killed and their images haunted him in his sleep, so he'd taken to staying awake at long intervals to evade those nerve-clenching screams. He hadn't spoken with Xev much since the kiss in the passageway. Sometimes he'd catch her staring at him, but everytime he made eye contact with her, she'd break it, or vise-versa. Kai didn't blame her. He didn't know what it was, but something was telling him that she was what mattered, and she could never be happy with a dead person. True he was alive, but he knew it wasn't in him to love. He was a killer, and nothing more. Everything he was before His Divine Shadow killed him was gone, and there was absolutely no point in trying to retain any of that. He was a shell. Prince had showed him what he was back in the lab.

Speaking of whom, what about Prince's little deal? He'd asked Kai to help him find a box. Of course he declined, but Kai couldn't help wondering why Prince would want a box. The only answer could be that something evil was inside it. Xev had made sure Prince survived the insect attack, since she was a good heart no matter what. Now Kai was beginning to wonder if the box had anything to do with their practically stowaway Time Prophet. It was pretty clear that Vlad was the most important rejuvenation specimen in that annex now. It wasn't so much that they were after him, as they were after her. Now instead of questioning her reasons to be brought back, he was throughly questioning his own. Just another reason to deem himself worthless, Kai figured.

Stan on the other hand, spent his days trying to teach the new Lexx things the old Lexx could do. This Lexx grew fast in three months, almost to the size the original had been, yet it was even scarier, since he and Xev never really took the time to explore it. Then again, neither of them cared much at first. The first days after the Earth incident, Xev was almost catatonic. The shock didn't hit her immediately, but after a few hours, it was plain to him that she missed Kai. He didn't blame her, it did feel weird not having the dead guy around anymore. She persisted in looking for a body to find that there was none of course, and then she got this idea in her head, after her near-rape on a nearby planet, that she had to make up for "lost time". Her whole personality changed. Sex no longer interested her (unless of course it was with the now living Kai, and Stan didn't see that happening anytime soon), only finding a new home and killing the insects mattered to her.

He had no clue what was causing the insects, but everywhere they seemed to go, they attacked. He felt it had something to do with Kai and Vlad being revived. He had run this idea past Xev several times after Kai's mysterious rejuvenation under Prince's control, but she said he was crazy. Stan didn't think so, since Xev was willing to feel that Kai's ressurrection was a good thing under any circumstance, even though any idiot could see that Kai considered it a living Hell. He hadn't tried to bounce the notion off Kai either, since any sane person who had an affinity for their limbs stayed out of the cryochamber when Kai was in it. (Stan understood that Kai had to push his accuracy back up to where it had been, but did that mean he had to be throwing around machinery that was twice as big as his head?)

The Time Prophet had once said that time moved in a cycle, right? Well, the Time Prophet had been killed, not by Vlad as everyone had come to believe, but rather she was Vlad herself. Well? The Time Prophet, even though reluctant, was alive and running again, wasn't she? Who knew what kind of images were popping up in that crazy woman's head!

The Last of the Brunnen-G was supposed to die at the hands of the Divine Order, which he did, and then destroy them after death, in which he also suceeded. He existed an extra four-thousand years as a dead person until getting restored to life by Prince, and then being killed that same moment. Well, three months and a machine that brings back the dead later, here Kai was, slightly in shock, and definitely in denile, but alive nonetheless. Stan figured, that if the Time Prophet was alive, the Insects were back, and the Last of the Brunnen-G had been brought back from the afterlife, then there had to be something out there that completed this mess. He didn't want to mention, think, imply, or guess it, but somewhere in there, he knew there was one right answer to that question: His Shadow.

Stan really hadn't had much time to think on the subject though. Most of the time, he was either off exploring some evil planet with the crazies he called his crew, or he was too scared that Vlad was going to pop out of nowhere and skewer him like the pig she probably thought he was. Kai had told him several times that she was no real potential threat since only her abnormal physical strength was an issue, and that she could be killed if need be. Stan didn't like it one little bit. Fangs or no fangs, she could predict his actions by looking into the time cycle now. That was the most dangerous thing she posessed. Xev on the other hand was just daring Vlad to come out of the shadows for a rematch. Apparantly, the love slave still held a grudge for everything from trying to kill Kai to actually killing her, and was just wanting to eat the woman's brain.

The moth landed on the bridge and Stan looked up as Xev came out of it, shaking her head. "I've been all over the place looking for Vlad," she said. "Nothing,"

"Divine Executioners are good at not being seen," said Kai, stepping onto the bridge.

"Hey, dead man!" said Stan. "You decided to come outta your cave for once,"

"I suspected that I would be needed," said Kai.

"And you're right," said Xev. "While I was looking, I didn't find Vlad, but I did find some weird kind of box in the Lexx's second stomach,"

Kai tilted his head. "Do you wish for me to recover it?" he asked.

"If you want to," said Xev. "It's not often we get things like that, or at least I don't think so,"

"I say we leave it alone!" said Stan. "Every time some foreign object comes on this ship, something I really don't like happens,"

"Then it settles it," said Xev, walking around the bridge, her arms behind her back.

"What, settles what?" said Stan.

Xev smiled mischivously. "Kai, go get the box,"

"I don't like this," said Stan, circling the large stone obstruction. "I mean I really don't like this,"

The box itself was pretty plain. It was made out of some light stone, and had an ornately carved seal on its side, and the top of it was encrusted with marble lettering. The only thing that made it chillingly eerie, was that both the seal and a large symbol on the lid were in the shape of the Divine Order symbol. "You should not," said Kai. "As it seems to be an artifact sent to the Dark Zone by His Divine Shadow,"

Xev flicked at the lid curiously. "How can you tell all that just by looking at it?" she asked.

"I have many memories, including those of linguists from the League of Twenty-Thousand," said Kai, tracing his fingers along the first line of script. "It vaguely reads that he who opens it shall sleep the most blissful sleep while those on the outside experience the worst terror imaginable,"

"Vaguely, whaddya mean vaguely?" said Stan.

"As I only carry memories of the language, either the inscription is a warning or an elaborate recipe for fruit salad. I suspect that it is not the latter," said Kai.

Stan scoffed, and shook his head. "I'm getting away from this thing right now. You guys can tinker with it all ya like, but I'll meet you on the bridge, away from this thing,"

As Stan's footsteps faded away down the passageway, Kai went behind one of the cryopods and reappeared with a metal pole. He proceeded to stick it in the small gap between the lid and the seal, and applied his weight to it, trying to crack the seal open. "Kai?!" Xev said in astonishment. "What are you doing?"

"Do you not want to see what is inside?" he said, stopping to look up.

"I thought the dead didn't experience curiosity," said Xev.

'Though it is true that the dead do not experience curiosity or motivation, I am aware that cluster lizards are curious animals by nature," he said flatly.

She smiled, seeing that he was at least thinking about her. She would have opened it herself, except there he was, struggling to pry off the seal on his own. "Would you like some help?" she asked brightly.

"The dead do not see any need for help, yet the living understand that it is necessary," he said.

Xev rolled her eyes as she stepped behind him to take hold of the pole. She really wished he'd just talk like a normal person for once, but no, he always had to give her the dead answer. "Like this?" she asked, pushing the rod up and down in the slot.

"Yes," said Kai.

They cranked it a few times, until the stone made a dry grinding sound against itself. "Stop," said Kai. "I believe you should stand behind me and allow me to finish this on my own. That way if something dangerous is in there, you will not be the unfortunate one,"

Xev shrugged and did as she was asked. With a heave, the two of them found themselves being blasted off their feet as the pole hit the ground with a steel clatter. Xev landed in one of the divets in the floor, while Kai bounced off the middle cryopod, ironically the place where he used to reside. They looked up to see oddly sparkling blue dust filter through the room, and dissapear into thin air. Kai peeled himself off the glass of the pod, and rubbed the back of his head. He offered his hand to Xev, and yanked her back upright. "Are you all right?" he asked.

"Yeah. What was all that?"

"I do not know," said Kai. "However, I do believe our disturbing it has had reprocussions,"

He leaned closer to the lid, to see that the Divine Order symbol on the lid had opened into a darkness inside the box.

Stan looked up from his post, as he heard Kai and Xev returning to the bridge. "So what'd you guys find? Insects, a mummy, fruit salad, what?" he asked.

"I'm going to bed," Xev said huffilly.

Kai followed suit. "I will too," he said. "And Stan, I assure you there is nothing wrong with your sleeping chamber. Wake me for only dire emergencies,"

Xev whirled around and snickered. "What?" she asked. "What have you been doing Stan?"

Kai fixed his emotionless eyes on her. "For the past six nights, Stan has awakened me because he believes he is being threatened. I have checked around his chamber. There is no potential threat," he said innocently.

Stan rolled his eyes, unable to understand how Kai could be one of the most feared assassins in the Light Universe, and at the same time have the innocence of a child. He could simply tell you too much because he couldn't lie to save his life. Xev sighed. "Goodnight then," she said.

"Yeah, goodnight," said Stan, calling after them. "I'm not scared!"

As soon as Kai and Xev were well beyond earshot, Stan jumped as he heard someone scream in pain down the opposite corridor.


	2. Don't Let Them Bite

Stan found getting to sleep while a box that carried Divine Order symbols sat in the cryochamber, wasn't as easy as Kai and Xev made it look. The scream had dissapeared as quickly as it had come; the owner was nowhere to be found. He'd passed Xev and Kai's rooms on his way to bed, and both of them were out like lights. He swore that Kai's bad habits were rubbing off, since he found himself getting dressed, and wandering off toward the galley. Stan was just relieved that he was hungry; Kai just wandered around the Lexx aimlessly. Then again, what did he expect? For someone who sleeps for days at a time normally, no wonder he was awake when even Vlad was probably asleep! Then again, no one was quite sure if she even slept; no one had seen her for weeks. Stan figured that one had to enjoy being verbally and physically abused in order to actually want to find her.

He leaned against fleshy table as the nozzle spewed food out onto it. No matter how many times the original Lexx could have reproduced, Stan was positive that if Hell still existed, this Hell of having nothing but green bug vomit to eat would be his. Keeping an alert ear out in case Vlad or the box's contents happened to come along, he ate slowly, trying to imagine something good, like a pie or ice cream. Instead all he tasted was the bitter muck that Lexx called food. That was another thing that bothered him about Kai. One would think that after six-thousand years of eating nothing, Kai would hate the slime, too. Instead, he could probably eat anyone under the table, and ate Lexx food without any complaints. The dead may be alive, but as Stan saw it, the dead were exceptionally weird, too. A few moans echoed through the hull, but Stan shook his head. He figured that Xev was just dreaming again, about how Kai could satisfy her ultra-suppressed love slave needs. The key word there, was dreaming. Kai was so distant and busy trying to be dead, he barely acknowledged that women continually threw themselves at him. Stan figured that Kai came back crazy, and one day he'd snap and that'd be that. Xev would never allow anyone to do anything about it of course, but Stan wasn't looking forward to the day when he and Xev had to sleep in shifts.

He turned to go back to his room, and nearly jumped a mile as a hand grabbed the wall in front of him; a hand with grayish-purple fingernails no less. He backed up, and his heart did flips in his chest as Zev slowly turned the corner to confront him. "How could you do that?" she asked.

Z-Zev? Do what?" said Stan.

"How could let me die like that?!" she asked angrily, blue eyes tearing up. "I asked you to come with me, and you didn't! They took me! I saved your life, but you didn't make any attempt to take me out of that beam!"

"But you're not dead anymore, Lyekka re-made you!" Stan begged, backing slowly toward the passageway as she advanced. "Please don't-"

Zev screamed like a cluster lizard, baring her teeth, and put her hands on her stomach. She then held them up to Stan, and they were covered in a custard-like orange substance. "How can you explain this?!" she sobbed through a scream.

"I know it musta hurt, but that was a long time ago!" Stan whined.

Zev suddenly vanished behind the rations dispenser, and he whirled around to see Xev step around the corner leading to the passageway, looking very pale. There was a gaping bloody hole in her stomach where Vlad's impaler had once pierced her, and blood trickled from her mouth. "It wasn't so long ago when you let her kill me," she said bitterly. "You knew Vlad was free, and yet you did nothing!"

"We brought you back!" said Stan. "What's wrong with you?! You can't be real!"

His fear got the better of him, and he pushed past her, and ran toward Xev's sleeping chamber. He had to see her if not wake her, she couldn't have died again. Vlad couldn't have killed her the same way, it just wasn't possible. Stan was seriously beginning to wonder in a small part of his mind if it was him. If he was going insane, he had to prove it somehow, unless something was incredibly wrong with the Lexx. If all else failed, he could at least blame it on Vlad or Kai. He stopped dead however, as he found several men running at him down the passageway. One of them pinned him to the wall. "It's my turn first!" he said.

"No, I saw her first! I want first bonk!"

"Hey, guys! I'm not a her, I'm a he! I'm all man!" said Stan.

"Shut up!" said one of the men. "Like we care about what you have to say!"

Unable to push his assailants away, Stan closed his eyes and did the next best thing. "KAI!!!!!!" he screamed. "HELP!!!!!!"

This continued for several minutes, when he felt that no one was holding him down anymore, and that the voices were gone. Cautiously, he opened one eye, and looked around. The men were gone, so Stan took it as his chance to run faster than he believed he ever could. He ran in the other direction, as he saw His Divine Shadow marching toward him, preparing to let loose one of his aura blasts. "Worthless human!" he said, as he released the energy.

Stan fell face down in the passageway, and saw the energy hit the wall of the Lexx. Strangely enough, the blast just passed though; no hole or anything. He didn't try to look back to see if HDS was following, sprinted through the bridge, and into the other passageway. He'd never been so happy that the Lexx had multiple ways of getting to places.

He skidded to a halt in Xev's sleeping chamber, and rushed over to her. Sighing in relief, as he watched Xev roll over in her bed, the flimsy sheets covering only the parts of her that Stanley was always trying to get a look at. He knelt over her, trying to avert his eyes for once, and shook her gently. "Xev," he said. "Xev, wake up,"

She whimpered in her sleep and turned away from him, her blonde hair fanning out underneath her. "Xev!" he whispered sharply. "Wake up!"

Nothing. He sighed, knowing that he was probably going to loose teeth over this, but he started clapping his hands as hard as he could, right next to her ear, in hopes that her eyes would open. She didn't do anything. "Xev, come on. Weird stuff is happening, and this is your job, so come on, do your thing!"

Xev remained immobile. "That's it, you really owe me cluster lizard!" said Stan. "I hate having to wake Kai, because he might just cut off my head out of paranoia, what do you think about that?!"

Still nothing. "XEV!!!!! GET UP!!!!!" he screamed.

Stan shook his head, and turned in the other direction. The only thing that could make it any worse would be to run into someone really dangerous. He got his wish on the other hand, when Vlad came stepping out of the doorway to Kai's sleeping chamber. She wasn't wearing the containment suit from the lab, but her full Divine Executioner's uniform, and she looked extremely pleased with herself as she shot her brace and stopped it inches from his face. "It is done!" she said. "I have killed the Divine Assassin, and now his protoblood is mine,"

Stan flinched as she flicked her wrist for her impaler to come out, but before the weapon made it to him, she was gone. Unable to wake Xev, Stan quietly skirted his way around Xev's room as soon as Vlad dissipated, and into Kai's chamber. The former dead man was on his side, with his back to the doorway. Stan knew it shouldn't bother him since Kai was very much alive, but even so, Kai still looked like a corpse when he slept. He didn't look like he was breathing, and his eyes didn't move as most people's do. Stan shook his head, and went up to the side of Kai's bed.

Trying the same tactic as he had with Xev, he put his hand on Kai's shoulder, and shook him slightly. "Hey Kai," he said. "You asleep?"

He elbowed Stan in the gut lightly, and mumbled "Stan, go back to your chamber,"

"So you are awake!" said Stan, circling around the bed.

Sadly, when he saw Kai's face, he was asleep, and he'd only half-consciously spoken. Stan growled, and gave him a shove onto his back. "Kai, some really freaky stuff is going on! You gotta wake up!"

He didn't wake up, but his right arm landed face up in front of Stan, and it had moved in just the perfect way for the brace to slide up into his hand. Stan slowly backed away, knowing all too well that the brace could fire unconciously. "Kai, put your arm down," he whispered. "Put your arm down,"

Stan was holding his breath. If Kai suddenly bent his arm or his muscles twitched, Stan's "little" Stan would be a memory. He didn't want to try and move the arm himself, because then Kai'd surely get jumpy and fire the brace.

He slowly stepped to the side, and exhaled when Kai rolled onto his right side, trapping the deadly weapon between him and the bed. "Better you than me, dead man," he said quietly. "...And you can't hear me, so why am I even bothering?"

Stan took a deep breath, hopped up and down a little to prepare himself, and made sure to stay away from Kai's brace arm in case he did wake up; it was no secret that waking up a Divine Assassin required a slight death wish. "KAI!" Stan screamed again. "THIS ISN'T HUMAN, YOU KNOW! YOU ALREADY SLEEP MORE THAN NORMAL PEOPLE DO, YOU SHOULD WAKE UP NOW!"

He rolled his eyes, and headed back in the direction of the bridge. "What I wouldn't give for an electric prod," he groaned, heading back to the bridge.

Pacing the bridge back and forth, Stan contemplated things a bit. He didn't realize that he was talking to himself. Were 790 around, he probably would have been ignoring the bashing, and just talking to it, but now he was all alone. No Xev, no Kai, and no Vlad. Come to think of it, Vlad was starting to sound like a nice companion now. "Okay," said Stan. "Xev and Kai are asleep; I can't wake them up. I'm wide awake, but for some reason, I'm either reliving things that scare Xev, or I'm seeing a bunch of butchered people, zombies, enemies, or whatever. This isn't like that web thing Lexx crashed into, so I can rule that out. We all know exactly where we are. I can't possibly be dreaming, since I never fell asleep. Just for the record, Giggerota, are you here?!" he called out.

"Awww, is Skin Man scared?"

Giggerota had stepped out of one of the passageways, and that contiuously murderous look on her face was fixed on him as she licked her lips and lunged for him. Without thinking twice, Stan bolted down the opposite passageway that she wasn't blocking. For some reason, she hadn't followed him, so he stopped when he got to a four-way intersection, and tried to catch his breath. "Why did I have to ask that?!" he whined. "That's a rule now! Never ask stupid things that might come true, because then they always, always do!"

A buzzing noise echoed down the long passage, and Stan took that as the que to keep moving. Mantrid drones were unpredictable, so finding one was something he didn't want to do when he was the only lucid and sane person aboard the ship. A sharp pain in the head and a blurry vision of a floating arm holding a hammer later, Stan found himself waking up on the floor of the bridge, with someone staring over him.

He jumped imediately, and almost frightened the person watching him. "I'm sorry, Stanley. I didn't mean to frighten you,"

"Lyekka? Hey, I like that dress...hey wait a minute!" he said, sitting up and backing away on all fours. "You're dead! You can't be here!"

"I know I am, Stanley," she said, flashing a sad smile. "I miss you,"

He felt that he didn't have to run from this apparition, but he knew he couldn't quite trust her. "A-Are you the Lyekka that was killed by Matrid, or the one that was killed on Water, or are you that evil one? You know, the one that wanted to eat Planet Earth?" Stan asked warily.

"Does that really matter?" Lyekka asked, sitting down beside him. "I like you Stanley. I won't hurt you. Where are Xev and Kai?"

"I don't know what to do," Stan admitted, briefly burrying his head in his hands. "The whole ship's crawling with their nightmares. I mean, Xev's are pretty gruesome and suck all the joy outta you, ya know, like those rapist guys and Giggerota, but Kai's are downright dangerous!"

Lyekka circled around him, and put her hand on his shoulder, her sweet smile turning into a sad pout. "I know," she said. "He relives everything that he blames himself for. Xev on the other hand experiences her worst fears. Now they are after you,"

"Yeah, I know _that_, Lyekka," he said flatly. "Otherwise I wouldn't be talking to you,"

She sadly touched the side of his face. "I'm sorry I can't help you, Stanley," she said. "But all I can tell you is that nightmares can't hurt you. That part is a dream. You have to wake them,"

"Thanks for pointing out what I already know," Stan said sarcastically. "Not that I don't appreciate it, though,"

"You have to finish what they start, or this won't end," said Lyekka, standing up.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm hungry," Lyekka said brightly.

"Uh, sure...okay. Lyekka?" he asked. "If you're not one of Kai's nightmares, and you're not one of Xev's, then what are you?"

"I guess that is up to you," she said. "Wake up, now,"

Stan jumped as he felt hands on his shoulders. He screamed as Vlad looked back at him with empty eyes. "You sleep too much. Weakling human,"

"Yeah, Vlad, we have bigger problems. I'll let you verbally abuse me later. Wait a minute...how long were you watching me?"

Vlad stood up, and looked at him with that cold blank stare. "Not long. I heard your sniveling, and thought that something interesting had happened," she said.

"You can feel intrigue?" Stan asked.

"Yes. It is a most appauling experience," said Vlad.

He looked closer, to see that Vlad was caked in what seemed to be protoblood, and she proceeded to lick some of it off her arm. In her hands, was a sharp dagger-like object made of Lexx hide and bone. Stan withdrew from her slightly. "What happened to you?" he asked warily.

"I was attacked by my former self," said Vlad. "I killed her, and protoblood was my reward,"

"You mean you can see these things too?!" said Stan.

"Of course," Vlad said haughtily. "I'm not blind. They provide a decent hunt, with much to kill,"

"So you can hurt them?" said Stan. "Even though they're not real,"

"Have you heard nothing I've told you?" said Vlad, her nose crinkling slightly in anger. "I enjoy slaughtering them too much to allow them to escape me,"

"Uh, Vlad, can I ask you one more question? I mean...i-if it's okay with you" Stan asked warily, backing up slowly, in case he had to run, holding his hands up in defense.

"I am feeling charitable," she said distastefully, crossing her arms. "Ask your question,"

"Have you had any...visions so to speak about this?" he asked.

"Visions assail me constantly, mortal," said Vlad. "Speaking of which, there is a diminished Divine Shadow behind you. It's best you kill him quickly before he devours your miniscule brain,"

Sure enough, one of the zombies that Stan recognized from Ruuma made a lunge for him, and nearly fell foreward. "What do I do?!" said Stan.

"I have no intention of giving you the luxury of instruction," said Vlad, sitting down on the bridge, prim and stiff as ever.

"Vlad!" said Stan, as the zombie proceeded to pursue him around the bridge.

"Oh," she said. "If you insist on showing your limitations,"

The ex-Divine Executioner stood up and grabbed the zombie by the shoulder. She then buried the knife, deep into it's neck and yanked it out after twisting in around a little. Black slime spurted from the wound, spattering Vlad as she smiled evily in Stan's direction. Stan backed away. "You're sick, you know that?!" he sputtered. "Really, really sick!"

Vlad dropped the body to the ground, and it vanished as it made a dull thud against the floor. "Your point is?" she asked "At least I'm not a simpering coward who flees at the first whiff of confrontation,"

"You know Vlad, if it wasn't for the fact that we need to help Xev and Kai," said Stan, heading down the passageway.

His only company followed after him, cleaning her knife on her skirt as she went. "You would what?" she asked. "Beg for mercy? Were it not for the fact that helping your crew intrigues me, simply because it is my duty to kill Kai, and no one else's, you would be slaughtered on your beloved bridge,"

"Vlad, between you and the robot head, I actually preferred the robot head. I really, really did," Stan mumbled.

They stopped in the cryochamber, as Kai leaned against the stone box, holding his side. Blood was slowly seeping from the wound. Stan rushed over, wheras Vlad just looked on in fascination. "Hey, when did you wake up?!" said Stan.

"Wake up?" Kai asked weakly. "I was never asleep,"

"Uh...okay. Uh, what happened to you, anyway?" Stan asked.

Kai didn't have the chance to answer, as Vlad came up behind him, yanked his head back, and slit his throat without a moment's notice. "What did you do that for, you-" Stan started.

Vlad dropped the lifeless body, and it too vanished. "He wasn't real," said Vlad. "Even someone as worthless as Kai would never allow themselves to be injured in such a frivalous way. The foolish whore has irrational fears,"

"Uh-huh, yeah, be that as it may, but I'm setting some ground rules," said Stan. "Number one, let's be a little more choosy about who you maim,"

"But why?" said Vlad. "My desire to kill him outweighs your decision to set my boudaries,"

"For now, can ya just listen to me?!" said Stan. "You said you wanted to help me help them right? So, if you kill the real Kai, then you won't be helping me,"

Vlad thought a bit on the subject, and then nodded. "For now I promise not to kill anything that does not assail us. However, my promise is decent while we are trying to help them. Is that clear?"

"Yeah, I get that," said Stan, rolling his eyes. "You hate us, we hate you, so this is rule number two: Verbally abusing each other is strictly illegal until your promise expires, got that?"

Stan could see she hated that rule, but reluctantly agreed. "Well good," said Stan. "Now come on. If you can hurt these things, then we just gotta figure out how to get rid of them for good,"

"You mean you haven't figured out the puzzle yet?" said Vlad.

"Well no!" said Stan. "Have you?"

"Of course," Vlad said pridefully. "Finish what they start. You have to scare them awake. It makes perfect sense,"

"How did you-"

Vlad simply tapped her temple. "Yeah," said Stan. "That's good...that's really good, Vlad,"


	3. Beat Them 'Til They're Black and Blue

Stanley followed Vlad out of the cryochamber, and into another passageway. He didn't trust her enough to walk in front of her, and would much rather be surprised by a nightmare instead of her homemade dagger. Even without her original brace weapon, this woman loved to hunt and kill. She made that obvious, as she checked every side of her, and led him effortlessly into an empty room full of butchered people.

Stan grimaced in repulsion, as he tried to avoid stepping in pools of blood, or on dismembered bodies. "What now?" Stan asked.

"Quite impressive," said Vlad, a smile spreading across her face.

It was amazing to Stan, that even when she smiled, she looked like a cat who had been sprayed with large amounts of water. Usually when most people smiled, it was because either something wonderful happened or if something hysterical happened. Seeing Vlad smile about genocide made Stan want to turn and run, feeling that taking his chances with the nightmares was a smarter thing to do. Of course, he wasn't about to try and attack one full-on. He felt leaving that to her was better, since it didn't matter if she died. In fact, Time Prophet or not, Vlad dying would be one less thing for Prince to follow them for. "This is most definitely the work of a Divine Assassin," said Vlad, stepping carefully around the bodies, admiring how they looked in their final moments of agony. "A tragedy that Kai is troubled by this. I am finding myself envious. However, a Divine Executioner's envy of a Divine Assassin can only last so long,"

"Okay, you're really starting to creep me out," said Stan. "I mean the dead guy...well, used-to-be dead guy creeps me out, but you _really_ creep me out, so come, let's go,"

"You do not want to aid Xev and Kai?" Vlad asked, looking at him with those eerie emotionless eyes.

"We gotta scare them outta this, right?" said Stan, crossing his arms in perturbance. "Well I don't see anything here that'll make Kai wig out, do you? This normal for him, but this just plain gives me the sudden need to throw up, so come on!"

He began gesturing to her for her to leave with him, but his gesture turned into a shriek when the body of a cleric nearest him grabbed him by the ankle, and spoke. "You didn't seem to mind so much as you tore out my throat and eyes," it said.

"What are you talking about, I never-" Stan said.

"Or mind it when you forced me to watch you kill my family...and then let me bleed to death,"

Stan whirled around and saw a girl with part of her bottom lip torn off, and arm missing. As the bodies began to stir and walk about, Stan suddenly snapped back to reality as Vlad grabbed him and yanked him toward her, apparantly using his body as a shield. "They are speaking to you as if you are Kai, fool!" she whispered sharply. "This is his nightmare we are now facing, so do what should be done!"

"Me?!" Stan whined, as Vlad backed him toward an open passageway as the murdered people began closing in on them. "Why me?!"

"You are the most useless mortal I have come to know!" Vlad spat as she took a firm hold on his arms.

She shoved him hard, and sent him slamming into the wall of the empty passageway blocked by Kai's victims, and fled through the cleared path. As Stan rubbed his head and regained his balance, the manifestations were gone. He wasn't sure what Kai was thinking, but of course Vlad was still dangerous! She had shoved him like he was a doll, and just because Kai was still strong enough to handle her, Stan didn't want to be around if Xev and Vlad's PMS days happened to fall on the same day. "What did you do that for?! We could have been killed!" he whined.

"Only mortals fear what their eyes put into their minds," said Vlad. "Dreams cannot end our existence, yet they can end those of your crew. You do not waive opportunities such as the one we have experienced, because it exposes your inability to think logically,"

"That's verbal abuse!" said Stan.

"You refuse to listen to me, and in turn, I refuse to hear your cries of abuse. That is what is," said Vlad. "Had you the ablity to shut your mouth, you would have heard that each manifestation we encounter has an after-effect on the whore or Kai,"

"You mean they are going to die?!" said Stan. "Why didn't you tell me that before, why couldn't you just-"

"As I do not care for either Kai or his ever-loving whore, I did not see the reason to until now," said Vlad. "Seeing you squirm in fear was invigorating for a while, but now I grow jaded of your trepidation and find it infuriating,"

"What reason?!" said Stan.

"I have told you before. It intrigues me, as I have never sought to help anyone in this life. My life as the Time Prophet was erased when I became a Divine Executioner, so I am helping you now. I would not be helping you if I kept that piece of information, and it is obvious that you are incapable of thinking without someone to aid you,"

She turned away from him, and headed in the direction of the crew's sleeping chambers. "Hey, where do you think you're going?!" said Stan.

"To Kai," said Vlad. "In order to effectively exercise this issue, it is best we gather them on the bridge. Collect the whore, and I will meet you,"

Stan jogged to Xev's room, keeping eyes out for any kind of manifestations. In his favor, he found none, and found Xev as she had been before. He sighed, and tried to pick her up and keep her flimsy sheets wrapped around her, finally just tying them about her in order to keep her covered. He knew that if she woke up on the bridge naked, she'd probably kill Vlad first for being there, and eat his brains afterward; Kai always got a get-out-of-jail-free card for some reason. "Ugh, Xev, you need to stop eating," he grunted. "It wouldn't kill you to wear clothing to bed either,"

"Stanley,"

Stan nearly dropped his load as he spun around, to be face to face with Prince. Not taking his eyes off the manifestation, he slowly lowered Xev back to her bed. "I'm not scared of a dream, so you can just drop and dissapear right now, Prince," said Stan, backing away slowly. "Not interested in any deals,"

"I haven't offered you a deal, Stanley," Prince said shortly, stepping around Xev's bed. "And you will find, that even though I am indeed a deity, I am very real, and not one of their petty nightmares,"

"Then what do you want?" said Stan. "We don't have anything that you'd want, and we're kinda busy right now, so just-"

"Holiday," Prince said quickly. " Thought I would check upon Stanley, and Xev, and Kai, and Vlad. How are Xev and Kai by the way? So rude of me not to ask, but I am Prince, and I am a bit rude. Sleeping a lot lately, aren't they?"

"Well...yeah," said Stan. "But they don't need your help, me and Vlad have this, thanks!"

"Poor Xev, and poor Kai," said Prince. "They poked their noses where they didn't belong, and this is what they got. Shame, really is. Perhaps they'll learn that opening others' mail is very inconsiderate,"

"What are you talking about?!" said Stan, picking up Xev again. "You know, you're really starting to annoy me, and Xev is really heavy, so if you excuse me, I have a cluster lizard and an assassin to scare awake,"

"They opened the box, Stanley," said Prince. "They didn't heed the warning, and now they are stuck in this coma, until someone can get them out...I can do that for you,"

"Sorry Prince," said Stan. "After the last time you offered something to one of us, he got blown up, so hope ya have a nice day, so sorry I can't help you, goodbye!"

Vlad stood at the edge of Kai's bed. She frowned, and almost recoiled at the sight of him, as he lay there, trying to do nothing about his humanity. "I don't understand why I am trying to spare you, Brunnen-G," she said coldly. "But I made a promise, and I shall keep it, only because the dead do not break promises,"

She roughly yanked up his arm, and pulled it over her shoulder, but a sudden prescence stopped her actions. She let go of him and looked around the room. "Reveal yourself," she called out. "Or be slaughtered at the hands of the hunter,"

"Such harsh words,"

Vlad turned around to face her sudden companion. "You are the one they call Prince," she said, the time cycle pointing out to her that this was someone to never trust. "You are an enemy to this band of fools,"

Prince touched the side of her face, rubbing it gently. " But not yours. You hate this, don't you Vlad?" he asked. "Having to breathe, and eat, and sleep? And what about your new ability to see into the cycles of time? Surely that puts a cramp in your lifestyle,"

She grabbed his hand and bit it quicky. "Ouch!" said Prince, recoiling. "That really hurt,"

"And so it should have," said Vlad.

"What do you say, Vlad?" Prince asked. "You kill Xev and Stanley right now, we take the box and fly away from here. We'll wake Kai, and you can kill him, just like you want to. In turn, I will give you what you want,"

"The dead do not have wants," Vlad said coldly.

Prince grinned. "That may be so, but the living do. You want to be a Divine Executioner again, don't you?" he said.

"Yes," said Vlad, burying her knife deep in his abdomen without warning

The action even surprised Prince, and being killed was like brushing his teeth; just part of the routine. He looked down in pain, to see that the knife was in fact, sticking out of him, and blood was gushing. "Why? " he asked hoarsely

"I am a destroyer. I destroy," she said, twisting the knife in his chest. "Cheerie bye,"

"Cheerie bye," Prince repeated, as she ripped the blade out of him.

He stumbled backward and landed across Kai, who didn't so much as move. "What did you do that for?!"

Vlad turned to see Stan holding a very limp Xev in the doorway. She looked back to where her latest victim had fallen, and saw that he had vanished "That is Prince?" she asked sardonicly. "That is the one who managed to destroy the Last of the Brunnen-G? He is annoying,"

"You killed him!" said Stan. "And now we don't know where he's gonna pop up, or when, or who's he's gonna pop up as!"

Vlad simply tucked her bloodied dagger into her skirt and dragged Kai off his bed, pulling his arm over her shoulder. "And when he does," said Vlad. "I will kill him again. He is a deity not bound to this existance, yet he insists on acting as if he is. It confounds me,"

As they came to the middle of the bridge, Vlad dumped Kai's limp form onto the floor as if he were a sack of stones. Xev stretched in her sleep, and her hand went flying up, punching Stan hard, while Kai's head made a nasty clunk against the floor "Hey, be careful! He's still alive, you know!" said Stan.

"I brought him here," said Vlad. "What more do you want? The heads of Divine Assassins are meant to be hard. He'll live,"

Stan gently placed Xev next to the assassin, and stood up, slitting his eyes at her as thin as he figured they could go, rubbing his sore nose. The action elicited an arrogant smirk out of Vlad. "Just stick to your part of the bargain, huh?" he said, putting his hands on his hips. "You look out for dream things, I'll try to wake them,"

"Agreed," said Vlad. "But only for now. As I have told you, I would sooner disembowel myself rather than become part of your crew,"

Stan sighed, and rubbed his hands together, looking at the unconcious members of his madhouse of a crew. The impatient look on Vlad's face made him even more uncomfortable, as he walked cautiously around Xev and Kai. "Well?" Stan asked.

"Well what?" Vlad asked shrilly.

"Nothing's happening!" said Stan. "Where are all the creepy dream people?!"

Her nose crinkled again, and Stan was wondering whether or not to head for a moth before she lost interest in this little mission, and decided to amuse herself by mutilating him. "Patience is something mortals seem to lack as well," she said. "Now that they are both in one place, it will be easier to draw them to us. We wait until the opportune time, and then you will wake them,"

"You know something, Vlad," Stan griped. "You're just like Kai, you don't give people enough information, and then you get angry when they don't understand what you're telling them! Okay, so you want me to wake them by scaring them, but you don't tell me how! You-"

Stan found himself diving to the side as Vlad wordlessly tossed her knife in his direction without even turning her body. It landed in the command pedestal, and the Lexx responded as expected with a loud "OWW!"

"Comparing me to him shows your ignorance," she spat. "I could have killed you long ago had I wanted to. You expect instant gratification, and in that-"

"Vlad, move!' said Stan.

One of Xev's would-be rapists grabbed her from behind around the neck. However, she didn't panic; instead she slammed the dream man in the face with her elbow, and the minute she was free, she jumped down to the lower part of the bridge, and yanked her knife free. As the rapist edged closer, both the dead Zev and Xev crept through the opposite passageway. "You awaken the reptile," said Vlad. "I will deal with Kai,"

"Sure, she gives me the hard one," Stan mumbled.

Scrunching up his face in fear, he allowed the group of assailants shove him up against the command pedestal, as he kept repeating in his mind that none of this was real. "Um...let go of me!" he screamed.

"Shut up!" said one of the men, smashing him across the face with his fist. "We don't wanna hear you talk,"

That was it, if he had to wake Xev, he wasn't going to do it this way. Quickly thinking, he slammed the nearest guy in the groin, and pointed to Xev. "Wouldn't you rather have her?!" he pleaded.

The attackers looked at her, and the leader apparantly nodded, and walked over to Xev. Climbing over her, he began kissing her neck, but found himself being kicked off, as Xev's eyes popped open, and she screamed in the cluster lizard language. The rapists were gone, and she was looking around wildly. "Hey, I did it!" he said.

Xev whipped her head around at him, and Stan took this as his cue to recoil slightly. "Hey!" he said. "Just me, it's okay, I promise,"

"Stan?" she asked. "What's happening? I wasn't out-"

"Hold that thought!" said Stan, seeing that Vlad was taking her time with the Zev/Xevs.

Leaving the real Xev to contemplate her odd situation, Stan ran around to the other side of the bridge, nearly tripping over Kai, and watched as Vlad buried her knife in the dream Xev's neck and dropped the ersatz figure to the ground. Stan looked back to Kai to see him twitch slightly. "Vlad, hurry up!" he complained.

Vlad looked at him somewhat dissapointedly. "Oh," she said, as Zev was ready to knock her block off. "If you insist,"

Without even turning around, she reached back and Zev looked down to see the over-used dagger sticking out of her chest. "You did it again," she said, tears pouring from her eyes.

Vlad looked at Stan in disgust as he let guilt wash over him in the fact that he'd let Vlad kill her, and pulled the knife sideways to finish the job. As the body thumped on the ground and dissipated, Vlad's nose crinkled. "Guilt for a spector," she said. "How shallow of you,"

"Stan!" Xev said impatiently. "What's wrong with Kai?! What are we doing out here?! What's Vlad doing here?!"

Stan came around to other side of the bridge again and knelt next to Kai. Xev was sitting with her legs tucked under her, and had one hand pressed to her forehead. "You mean he didn't wake up?" he asked.

"Wake up?" said Xev. "Stan, what are you talking about?"

"Well that's gratitude!" Stan said angrily, standing up. "Because _some _people have to go opening boxes that spell out danger, this is what you get! I'm sorry, Xev...it's his fault,"

"You mean...Kai's..." Xev started.

They were proven wrong, when cold steel claws took hold on Stan's neck, and started to choke him. "Kai!" he said, trying to pull the brace away. "Kai, you're chokin' me!"

Kai realized what he was doing, retracted the weapon, and flinched from the lights, covering his eyes with one hand, as he slowly sat up. "How did I get on the bridge?" he asked.

"Well, Vlad carried you, and I brought-"

"Shh!" Xev said sharply, clutching her forehead. "Don't yell so much, Stan,"

Kai and Xev slowly both stumbled to their feet and Stan took the hint. "Lexx," he said. "Could you dim the lights please?"

"YES, STAN," the Lexx replied. "I TRY MY BEST TO PLEASE YOU. YOU ARE MY CAPTAIN,"

Both of the newly awakened crewmembers cringed at the sound, as they directed each other toward the passageway. "What's happened to us?" Xev asked. "Light hurts, sound hurts, and my head's gonna explode. I wasn't like this when I went to bed,"

Stan and Vlad followed them down the passageway, making sure that they weren't in worse trouble. "I believe we are suffering from a common human infliction," said Kai. "It is commonly known as a migraine,"

"Well, can you do anything about it?" said Stan. "Having you guys walking around like this isn't any better than your nightmares!"

"Stan!" Xev persisted. "Please,"

"Oh, sorry," he said quietly.

"I'm not!" said Vlad. "Seeing the both of you in agony pleases me greatly. I wish to cause more of it,"

Xev gritted her teeth, and growled deeply in the cluster lizard tongue. She slipped easily out of Kai's grip, and turned toward Vlad. "I might be in pain," Xev hissed. "But I can still take you!"

Vlad smiled smugly as Xev lunged for her throat, and Kai and Stan immediately reacted by grabbed both of Xev's arms. As the cluster lizard in Xev tried to wrench free, Vlad turned away. "If you mustconfront me," said Vlad. "Fight me when you are well. I would barely scratch a fingernail,"

With Vlad back to her normal skulking in the bowels of the Lexx, the rest of the crew found it hard to do anything except sit in the galley, and slump against the lump of a table. Xev and Stan slumped; Kai stood ramrod straight as ever, and even though it was clear he looked as bad as Xev felt, he wasn't going to show any symptoms of it if it killed him. Stan for once didn't think anything of it; after seeing what was in Kai's head, he wasn't sure he ever wanted to question the assassin's habits again. If he did, it would probably give _him_ nightmares "As an answer to your question earlier, Stanley," said Kai. "No, there is nothing I can do. As the protein regenerator only repairs damaged flesh, and a migraine is simply a common human infliction that will pass on its own, we must wait,"

"Great," Xev moaned. "Nightmares and side-effects. Stan, we really are sorry about that,"

"Eh, don't worry about it So," Stan replied sluggishly."Do you guys...remember anything?"

"Remember what?" said Xev.

"You know...the dreams," said Stan.

"No," said Kai. "I believe that as we slept, our dreams were taken from our minds, and they manifested in real time and space,"

"So you mean you don't remember Prince, either?" said Stan, forcing himself to keep his eyes open.

"Prince was here?" Kai asked. "What did he say?"

"Aww, just stuff about how you guys were gonna die, and that he wanted his box back, and that you opened it, so it's useless; you know, regular Prince talk," said Stan. "Vlad killed him,"

Xev picked her head up from the table. "She did?!" she asked, raising her voice a little too much, so both she and Kai winced a little.

"Yeah," said Stan. "Look out,"

Kai turned toward the doorway. "I will...leave you to rest," he said.

"Where are you going?" Xev asked. "You can stay here, it's okay. Prince won't-"

"I will return to the cryochamber, and resume what I was doing before we opened the box," said Kai.

Stan rolled his eyes. More innocent machinery parts were about to be slaughtered. Xev on the other hand looked dissapointed. "Kai," she said. "Do you ever think about other things besides fighting?"

Kai stopped, and Stan marveled at how Xev had the ability to not only control a one-time vicious killer, but could stop someone with a sentence and pour on the guilt. Though Kai probably didn't recognize it, Stan could see the guilt method worked just as well on former corpses as it did on security guards, robot heads, and any one else who crossed the cluster lizard. "As I was dead for thousands of years," said Kai. 'Thinking of other things is...difficult,"

As Kai's footsteps faded, Xev moved to follow him, but Stan caught her. "Let 'im go," he said. "Something's obviously bothering him, so just let 'im work it out on some debris...preferably 790 remains,"

Though slightly lightheaded, feeling that hearing the slightest sound would make his head explode, and swearing solemnly to sleep only at night like everyone else, Kai carefully chose a piece of debris out of the small collection, and took a deep breath. He threw it up in the air, and fired the brace the minute the artificial gravity took hold of the object. It fell back to the floor neatly cut in two. Unaware that he was smiling slightly, he re-holstered his weapon, and went to choose another target. However, he ended up reaching behind him, and turning his attacker in front of him, bending the arm of his enemy behind them. "You will not have me, Vlad," said Kai, mirroring his words to her when she had tried to drain him of his protoblood.

Even though her arm was bent in a painful position, she didn't so much as grimace. "Surprising," she said. "Your humanity is evident, yet your assassin's programming is intact. You were not lying when you said your atypical physical strength, although decreased, is still present,"

He released her, seeing that she hadn't intended in the first place to harm him with her homespun weapon. "We have been over that subject many times," he said coldly. "You know as well as I do, that even though our bodies are alive, our minds are as they were,"

"But they are not," Vlad persisted. "You cannot deny that like me, you are experiencing human emotion. However, unlike me...your weapon was reproduced as your body was. How was that possible that you have a way of defending yourself and I do not?"

"Though I have many memories, I do not posess the needed answer to your question," said Kai, desperately wanting her to leave. "Perhaps you should have asked Prince before you killed him,"

He subconsciously knew that he didn't want Vlad around because she spoke the truth about how emotions were very much becoming a part of both of them, whether they wanted them to or not, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to fight them. Unlike her, he couldn't kill without remorse, and not killing meant sooner or later submitting Stan and Xev's lives to death. "How is that just?!" Vlad asked shrilly. "You find it fair that I am left human, while at least part of your former existence lingers?"

"Yes," said Kai. "While I use my weapon to repent for my actions...you would use yours to repeat your actions. That is something that could not be. Surely the cycles of time have showed you this. I suggest that you come to terms with it,"

She ran her fingers over the lid of the box thoughtfully, intrigued by how she could rouse human anger in him if she tried hard enough, yet disgusted because she knew that they couldn't resume their death match anytime soon if he was going to contiune becoming more and more human.

"If I asked you to, would you release me from this mortality?" Vlad asked quietly. "Being a Divine Executioner, I cannot destroy myself...only other assassins. You are a Divine Assassin, and Divine Assassins have no will of their own,"

"No," said Kai. "I once told you that you deserved to suffer...I still carry that belief. And...even if I were to kill you, the rest of my protoblood, though severely depleated, was destroyed along with the original Lexx. We could not return you to your former self if that is what you are implying,"

She cirlced the room, and the box, and looked down."This brings you comfort?" Vlad asked in a hushed tone, standing with his last unfortunate "victim" at her feet.

Kai looked at his brace. "I do not know," he said. "Comfort is something that I am inexperienced with,"

"Shooting down tiny pieces of dead flesh and broken machines," she said distastefully. "That is not what is. I used to shoot Divine Assassins, and toy with them just to the point where they were frightened. Then I would drain them. I can still feel the way the protoblood snaked its way through my cold flesh, and the taste of it lingered for some time. Now I am here on this ship, trapped as only an echo of what I used to be without my impaler, and speaking with a Divine Assassin,"

"That is correct," said Kai, leaning against the box in the middle of the room. "We are both echoes of what we used to be. Yet I do not have any feeling for it,"

"That is because you are pathetic, assassin," said Vlad, sitting next to him. "You cannot see what I see. I see darkness. It excites me, yet I cannot understand why,"

"I see the faces of all those I have killed," said Kai. "It is a intimidating experience,"

"You admit to being intimidated?" Vlad asked coldly. "Human qualities have made you more pathetic than I surmised. You do not see what I see. As I am cursed to being the Time Prophet, only I can see what is coming,"

Kai turned to look at her. "And what is coming?"

Vlad turned so she was eye to eye with him. "Death," she said. "As we have been resurrected, only one other can be,"

"And that other would be?" said Kai.

"Our master will come back to us, Kai," said Vlad. "I await His Divine Shadow,"

Kai got up off the box and turned his back on her. "I see," he said.

"You see?" Vlad said petulantly. "Does what I have revealed to you affect you in any way?"

Kai slightly looked over his shoulder at her, not trusting her to not attack him if he didn't give her the answer she wanted. "As I have destroyed His Shadow before, the idea of his return does nothing to please me as it does you, yet fear is something that will not eliminate the problem," he said.

Vlad stood and squinted at him, looking more an more as if she'd sucked on a lemon."Yet again, you sound awfully confident for a Divine Assassin,"

"As confidence is something I am also unaware of and inexperienced with, I simply understand that whether I live or die, His Divine Shadow's time in this Dark Universe will not be much time,"


End file.
